The lovely people at the King’s Tribune let me write a thing for their magazine. Here is a picture of me reading that thing:
UNPROFESSIONAL!
naked, because of our highly sexualised society I fucking felt like it.
Anyhow, it’s about online dating, the sexy kind, and you can read it here.
I hope you like it!
Even though I’ve had profiles at several of those places, it’s too easy to see what’s happening, and I almost never contact any women because of how much I hate the gender role–men being the chasers and women sitting back passively until it happens–with a seething passion. This isn’t to say I don’t like to chase, but I want to be chased too. Not counting the exceedingly desperate (often those with severe physical disabilities or single moms looking for a dad more than a date), it never happens. Well, except for hits from gay guys, which makes me smile for a little while, but then feel more sad than anything. It honestly makes me wish I was attracted to men so that I could leave this world behind.
I can totally sympathize with women who want more sex marketed to them. Instead of getting hot guys to look at, they’re given clothes and makeup to look hot for guys. There’s endless debate over sexualized women in games, but most of the time I hear from female friends that they’d be fine if they had some hot guy characters to look at as well. In attempts to help a girlfriend find porn that fit her criteria, it was like searching for a needle in a haystack in which I ended up with a piece of hay that sorta maybe looked like a needle, but not really. I want to see sexy men’s underwear sold in stores that doesn’t look like some embarrassing attempt at comedy. Even shopping for sexy clothes online I still find it’s marketed toward gay men, instead of to men for women.
I want to be sexually objectified too, god damn it.
In the end, I know my efforts are just a pointless statement that wont change the world and will only have me without a date or lover. Until the accepted norm of behavior for women is changed, I have to fill the gender role made for me–there’s no choice.
Ug…that turned out to be a longer reply than intended.
And I think that the sites are even worse that day-to-day life in this regard. I mean, in real life I often take the initiative with men, probably at least half of the time in fact (and have had quite a few rejections) but online the amount of contact is already so unmanageable and overwhelming that I would very rarely bother to use the search function at all, and even then would only use the free contact methods to ‘wink’ or whatever.
And on objectification, I reckon that objectifying and being objectified are both very fun and healthy things to have in one’s life and I truly think a lot of men and women would be happier if the shares of each were evened up a bit…
Reading my post again, I sound more whiny about that than I intended. It’s so easy for me to get sucked into ranting about these things, haha. I’ve found it’s not really a problem when I’m not preoccupied with ideas of gender balance, just casually flirting and having fun instead.
I do imagine it’s frustrating for the women on those sites. I’m almost tempted to make a fake female profile just to understand what it’s like. It’s one of the reasons I have trouble getting into online dating sites in the first place, because I feel like I’ve been tossed into a mass of guys annoying girls.
Not worth it with a fake female account, I tried that, and it only confirms what’s been said – you get a barrage of requests for quick fucks from the worst people you can imagine. Half of them cannot spell, I wonder how they manage to use the Internet…
As a male who is looking for a friend with benefits arrangement I have decided for women who are inclined for the same arrangement to contact me. I made it easy by using same handle on my username all over the place – just look for the same on AMM, RHP as it is on Hotmail or Facebook… Easy – but it weeds out the duds. I had a few successes and that is all that matters, just waiting for the next one.
It is a cynical business for the owners of sites like BeNaughty that are very obviously baiting males by messages from mostly 30-year olds hot chicks and hoping they would sign up for a paid membership. Never mind, that’s what the game is